Fullness in the Year to Come

"Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?" -Mary Oliver

I am a creature who is very fond of her habits. A creature who, when life feels hard or heavy, spends each day just doing the next thing, and then the next, relying on the routines that I know will get me through until that day is over. Breathing just a little, calling it a life.

I have, in years past, chosen a word that I desire to characterize the year. This year, that word is: fullness. To me, this means pressing into all of the peace, the hope, the joy that union with Christ offers -- "therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure," (Psalm 16:9).

This is not a false or naive rejoicing, it isn't counting on improved circumstances. Instead, it is the overflow of a heart that has tasted of and is truly confident in the Lord's grace, in his goodness. One that is attuned to how he is working, how he is so near, even when everything seems all wrong.

How often have I missed out on this gift that is always available to me, instead just kind of scraping by and feeling sorry for myself? Praying that I will know something more of fullness in the year to come.