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Writer's pictureAllison Wopata

Seeking Life, Not Self-improvement

Updated: Jan 8, 2020

As 2019 drew to a close, I began to think about what I hoped would be true in the new year. I enjoy reflection, and I never run out of ways I’d like to change. But in previous years, my goals were vague and my knack for not following through left me feeling overwhelmed and defeated. Doing more, being better for its own sake has never worked for me.


This year, rather than setting my sights solely on self-improvement, I wanted to make a decision to pursue something life-giving. Something that would fill me up, not just make me feel better (or, more likely, worse) about myself.


The answer was obvious for me. I needed to make time each day to walk some portion of the web of trails that connect my town. Trail walking is life-giving to me for a number of reasons. I’ve always been inspired and awed by nature. It’s beautiful, mysterious, and so peaceful for me. Walking the trail also reminds me that I am embodied. The movement is gentle, but it helps to connects me to my limbs, my lungs, my beating heart.


It’s also proved to be a significant way for me to hear from and talk to God. I’ve felt a great deal of freedom in the way I interact with him here— sometimes I play the Bible app in my headphones to hear the words of the Psalms wash over me. Sometimes I talk, sharing all the cares and worries of my day, and sometimes I stop to be still. I’m reminded that the Lord is my shepherd, with me every moment, deeply desirous of my whole heart.


Finally, this practice has been instrumental as I’ve begun to try to write more. When I walk, my mind has space to stretch out, to be curious and contemplative without the trappings of a messy house or alluring phone. I’ve begun to stop and scribble when there’s a thought I want to make sure I keep chasing.


So, I am resolved in 2020 to walk the trail 5 times a week, with the goal of jotting a short verse or two each time. My aim is to feel playful about it, not laboring over the words until they’re just right, but allowing them to roam free. I see this as a happy avenue to getting more disciplined in my writing. Doing it every day, but not getting so caught up in perfection that it’s crippling (a pitfall I’m well acquainted with).


I do intend to share some of the fruits of this goal, but probably not all of them. I’d be grateful to anyone who followed up with me and asked about how it’s going along the way. I’m praying for us all to experience a deeper knowledge of and love for the Lord this year.

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